It's Now or Never!

By Tim

I can’t believe 2009 is over, and another year is about to begin. Where did the time go? It seems like just yesterday when we were bringing in the new year of 2009 with our friends in Connecticut, when we had another entire year in London to look forward to… and what a crazy year it’s been. A birth (my niece), a death (my grandmother), becoming completely debt-free, and economic collapse affecting business, U.S. citizenship for Natasha after a 5-year wait, and sadly, an unexpectedly revoked South African citizenship shortly thereafter. This has been a challenging year in many ways. I’m one who often thinks I’m in control. But if I were truly in control, 2009 would have gone a bit differently. No deaths, no economic downturn, no lost citizenships. No surprises, just forecast, positive calculations coming true. It’s been exactly 5 years today since I left the engineering industry, but I’m still very much a numbers person who strives to be correct and a messenger of good news – while trying (unsuccessfully) to be in control.

Alas, my success rate isn’t close to 100% - by far. After 32 years, you think I would have learned by now. I cried when I got my first imperfect score on a quiz in 1st grade. I felt I had failed when someone temporarily bumped me from the #1 ranking in my high school class. At one point I thought I might have been throwing away my undergrad and graduate training when I decided to ditch my engineering career to be a product manager in the marketing industry. But time and time again, things aren’t as bad as they seem. After all, perfection isn’t everything; using my God-given talents to the best of my ability to impact my life and those around me, is.

I have a history of trying to keep things in control – even merely trying to keep my horizon fixed – and failing every time. When I was a junior in high school, I had the opportunity to go to the Governor’s School of Art for a summer session. I was the runner-up in final selection and someone got sick just before the session began and cancelled, so the full-ride grant was mine if I wanted it. I remember the phone call with this news. No one was home except me, and the caller needed and answer right then and there; the program began the following Monday. I was afraid to take a chance. After a brief pause I said no, but thank you anyway. With some surprise, the caller said okay and we said goodbye. I felt conflicted after I hung up the phone. I knew I had passed up an opportunity, but I was sheepishly relieved to have not taken a daring chance to leave home for part of the summer. Maybe it was an opportunity “of a lifetime”, maybe not. But it was, at least, an opportunity to expand my horizons: to meet new people, learn new things …explore, dream, discover. But instead I kept my horizon fixed and static, and left wondering what could have been.

But God is so good, and works through my fear and poor decisions by taking me places, and through it He’s helped me to take more risks – and have no regrets.

When I wanted to choose the ‘safe’ school for university, He prompted me to push the envelope a little – and take the path where fewer friends were going, and home was (a little) further away. When I gave in to a friend’s persistence to make me try out for the cheerleading team, I discovered and took the opportunity to get in the best physical fitness shape of my life (and yes, meet some girls!). And when I (finally) decided to act on a crush and ask a girl out, He led me through an important experience that left me heartbroken and crushed at the end, after I had tried unsuccessfully to put my identity and security in the relationship. And when I wanted to join a fraternity, He guided me to the place where, a couple years later, when I was heartbroken after the failed relationship, I met Jesus for the first time through some amazing brothers in Brian, Micah and Billy – and was it the place where I would have least expected to meet Him! Since then I’ve taken more chances, met the love of my life in Natasha, moved overseas, been to more countries in the last 3 years than in the previous 29 years combined – and I’ve enjoyed the ride immensely, through thick and thin.

When we take chances in life – whether we succeed or fail – we expand our horizons regardless, and we risk what we have. If we don’t take a chance, we ultimately fail because change inevitably happens whether we like it or not. We can either let the world pass us by, or take our own route in the chaos. It’s all about perspective, and where we put our values.

In just 45 days, we’re taking a chance and a new chapter will be beginning. For now, it’s a relatively short one – just 5 months – but certainly long enough to make a considerable and life-long impact on myself and others around me. I truly consider it to be a chance of a lifetime, and I’m not letting this one pass me by!